Yesterday was just as brilliant as expected: the march was fun (even if I didn’t join in this time but only took pictures), the pool deserted and the water soothing, the movie thrilling and fulfillingly groanworthy in many places (some even intentional). I have a new safe-deposit box, the size I want without having to be on a waiting list. The composter is ready to receive its first deposit as soon as I get a few necessary starter materials.
And so on. I even found time to watch the copy of Dogma picked up at Half-Price the night before while waiting for my acupuncture appointment. After the Romero I needed a few laughs that weren’t the forced-out-of-you, “oh my gawd” variety. Kevin Smith made a very silly movie and I enjoyed it even more than I did eight years ago. It also served to reinforce my gladness I wasn’t raised Catholic.
Today may or may not be a busy one too. My friend Scott from Alameda – the one I stayed with on my last two trips to CA and yes, the one whose marriage broke up while I was there - dropped a line Friday night to say he’d be in San Antonio today and tomorrow with nothing to do. Scott is a training instructor for a software company and gets to go a lot of places I’ve never been – Tel Aviv, Mumbai and Sydney for starters – and now San Antonio’s on that list too because if we do get together today it’ll be him coming to Austin. But if he does I’m looking forward to showing him around.
And if he doesn’t there’s all that undone reading. While it’s not as beautiful a morning as yesterday, there’s still plenty of porch-sitting promise in the sky.
I thought I might break my brief moratorium on MFW today but as it turns out I’m not quite ready. Saw a number of Quakers at the march (of course) and one of them even commented on my recent absence and that was nice, it’s always nice to think you’re missed, though I don’t miss it there enough yet to have reciprocated with anything more specific than “Well, I’ll be back in awhile.” I really do like my free Sunday mornings, don’t you see.
This last week has felt like some kind of corner-turning. Not sure I can explain it except that maybe I’m feeling like more of my semi-altruistic, outward-facing self again. I started reading stuff again I’d been neglecting, Friends Journal mostly and my favorite environmental blogs. I had a six-month backlog of the FJ piled up untouched. I just couldn’t stand to read it, or anything that had directly to do with the good of the world. I didn’t realize over the last few months how little I’ve wanted to feel involved and concerned, or even just good about my practices that center on giving back. While I haven’t neglected the practices themselves – not totally, anyway – I certainly haven’t made any effort to reinforce my convictions about them, or to learn how I could do them better. I didn’t realize how much of a hole this left inside until I started catching up on my reading.
Now, this may just be a brief blip and with the resumption of classes tomorrow - and the required dealing with stressed-out faculty for the next month and a half - I’ll go back to being a self-involved hardass. To the cynical FTW guy I’ve been indulging a little bit too much lately. I can’t tell yet. But spring is here, and with all the green stuff everywhere you look, all the vegetation coming back to life, it’s hard to not love this physical realm we dwell in and want to do something to help it. Same goes for my fellow humans.
My sister got the check I sent, a full quarter of what my mother sent me. She said she was too stunned to know what to say. I guess she was: in our relationship I’ve rarely been the giving one, the sacrificing one. I’ve never given her much, tangible or in-, because I’ve never felt I had much to give her. So this is a bit of a turnaround for us. All I’m trying to do is make a small partial repayment to her for all the support, attention and guidance she gave (when I let her) in the years we lived near each other. There are better ways to do that than money, of course. I’m trying those too as we go along.
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